How Rude.

In the old days BWWW and BMP (before worldwide web and before mobile phones), you used to hang up on people and then refuse to take their calls. A rude but effective way to avoid people, giving them no other option but to track you down, stalk you and eventually have a face to face meeting. Ahhh, the good old days where everything took longer than you wanted it to and the only thing that was instant was the coffee. Yet there were defined mores and parameters of action when concerning communication and relationships built through those communications.

Today we live in the science fiction future they made movies about BWWW. When was Star Trek? Not so long ago that we should throw out communication considerations and etiquette just because the world has become Star Trek. For most people, the thinking they may be annoying, constantly answering the phone or emails is overridden by the desire to stay connected and updated. Noted blogger Peggy Nelson states we have moved from the etiquette of the individual to the etiquette of the flow and individuals choose to be in constant contact striving for better connections. So it seems we are always to be connected to our tribe in a constant spiral of technology applications that make smoke signals positively archaic.

Peggy says to stop worrying and love the flow; information after all is the lifeblood of good communication. Gossip on the other hand is the cholesterol clogging up the arteries of communication and should not be considered part of the flow.

Yet staying in touch does need a rethink of the old etiquettes and boundaries surrounding civility and privacy. How do we become the considerate friend or colleague mindful of the person at the other end of that endless stream of communication?

Certainly a starting point would be to gift back the weekends. (how did weekends turn into workends?) Short of emergencies what could be so important that it couldn’t wait till Monday? When you send messages consider where that person may be when they receive it. Don’t expect people coming back from 3 weeks holiday to be organised by 3pm on their return day and it goes without saying that you have no expectations of communications from abroad other than an E Postcard saying how they wish you were there. Think about where you work and if all communications require rapid fire responses. Not many of us are saving lives and no doubt that business response could wait till you wolf down your sandwich, while you brush crumbs from your keyboard. Don’t even get me started on the lunch at your desk scenario!

My favourite is the undivided attention you could give to a presentation, a discussion or a face to face meeting if your technology was turned off for just the tiniest of time. After all, answering your technology in those instances is tantamount to the party you went to on the weekend, where you finally caught up with that interesting person and they were constantly looking over your shoulder for someone more interesting than you.

The new etiquette will evolve and you have the opportunity to change with it but don’t give in to rudeness unless you really are saving a life.

Turn it off.