Five Bucks.

I need some help. I know, I know, replies referring to my state of mind, along with offers too extreme to print will flow forth, but I was referring to help with my blog and the marketing required to give it a higher profile on the net. I had been thinking who, how and what is required to market my blog so the New York Times finds me and offers that once in a lifetime chance to continue viewing the world my way from the front page.

Obviously this project requires a marketing budget and expertise to increase my following and gain notoriety, enough to warrant the NY Times offer. My cards, after the Christmas crush, left me with $105.00 credit to encourage someone, anyone, from a marketing company to give me advice and solutions to my dilemma of global blog domination. I was surprised what was on offer.

I was provided with the following solutions, that would give my blog the needed profile upgrade to entice NY to come a calling. To start with, I was provided with a business plan and a complete 30 page SEO and SEM report on my blog site. I was indexed in Google within 48 hours and had my site submitted to Yahoo. I had my blog tweeted to 15,000 new followers along with an ad on a website with 140 million hits. A full HD video of my blog on YouTube was listed with a professional testimonial in any language I chose. Not forgetting the power of social media, I had a Facebook App developed and uploaded along with a QR code in case I ever decided to sell anything on my blog. I was guaranteed 10,000 unique visitors sent to my blog site along with 200 articles posted to 200 sites further enhancing my profile. To finish the ambush marketing side of the campaign, I had a new logo designed, graffitied on walls, the sides of cars and on the fingernails of girls prepared to walk around their neighbourhoods with "O Business" in neon lacquer. Getting close to my budgetary limits I spent $10.00 to run two commercials a day, for five days, on a new country music station along with finding a business mentor to discuss any future marketing and business scenarios.

After accomplishing all of the above, I was left with $15.00 credit towards my second quarter marketing plan, which will include a receptionist for an hour, someone to make hard decisions for me and finally someone who will write my name in coffee cups, because I think that looks cool. Each of the above tasks cost me $5.00 from one of the more interesting crowd sourcing sites, Fiverr. It is gaining notoriety as the place looneys, loose cannons, creative types, business start ups and those hard up for cash gather in one crazy place. Some say Fiverr is catering to the lowest common denominator, those willing to do anything for $5.00, others look at it, as just another aggregator of human resource, while many like me, think it's a hoot and shouldn't be taken too seriously. After all, how much credence would you put on someone providing a business plan, being a business mentor or having your logo painted on finger nails for five bucks?

There seems no limit to what people are prepared to do, for fame, infamy and $5.00. You be the judge on the merits of crowd sourcing with a difference.

P.S. I didn't really spend the money. I'm sure the NY Times will come a calling, anyway.

Merry e Christmas.

In past years I was diligent in sending out Christmas cards to friends and relatives, no matter the expense or time required. I took pride in good English along with heartfelt messages I hoped would make the string of cards in the venetian blinds or better still the string of cards across the mantle piece. Things change and nowadays I send e cards and I lament the demise of a tradition, because no matter how efficient, it's hard to string e cards anywhere.

A tradition that has been in tune with this time of year, since the first commercial Christmas cards were commissioned by Sir Henry Cole in London in 1843 featuring an illustration by John Callcott Horsley. By 1860 they were commercialised by Charles Goodall and Sons and today, according to the Greeting Card Association, still number close to 2 billion sent every year. A number that is quickly dwindling.

Like e books, I think e cards will take over the printed variety, especially if I am an example, not buying cards anymore and not spending hours agonising over the litany of verses designed to bring fond memories of Christmas to all my friends. Interestingly I don't have any more cash or time, now that I'm no longer involved in the card exercise. Seems there is always something to take over the extra time and money, no wonder it's hard to save.

Having said all that, Christmas is still a time to reconnect with friends and relatives and regardless of how you say it, the thought of good will and cheer to all, remains the same regardless of the media used. I worried at first I wasn't putting the same enthusiasm and forethought into my cards because now they were just bytes of information transmitted via the ether and surely people could just dismiss them with a click or worse, they get stuck in the spam filter.

Yet the time dedicated to finding just the right card, with just the right music, with just the right message, interactivity and the ability for personality to shine through, quickly put paid to that thinking. Where a Hallmark shop would have hundreds of cards to chose from, I now wander sites with unlimited choices equivalent to an airport hangar filled with paper, looking for just the right card. My appreciation of the e card and it's ability to make people smile and think of the sender along with being able to reply instantly, has increased to the extent I now look forward to receiving them as much as sending them.

Along with my geeky side, my inner recycler is also feeling righteous not worrying about cut down trees and wondering what to do with the piles of old cards the day after New Year.

So this Christmas, embrace the new medium of e card connection and enjoy the interactive nature because your friends have taken time to think of you as they hit the send button. The e revolution won't subside and next year, I'm sure I'll be talking about my new e presents. The e shirt, the e tie and no doubt the e underwear, all guaranteed to fit, no matter how much pudding I eat.

Pregnant Pause.

A silence, a crystallistion of thought, a moment, a reflection, a pause filled with delicious anticipation of the next word or insight has given way to fillers in today's speech vocabulary and terminally haunts elocution experts of yesteryear as people rabbit on, rather than take a breath. I listen to industry leaders, politicians, entertainers and the odd footballer and it is rare I come away remembering more than "in between" words repeated ad nauseam connecting what should be salient messages and intelligent insights.

"You know", "ah", "like", "er", "right" and the always reliable, tried and true ubiquitous "um" are go to words for speakers waiting for their mouths to catch up with their brains, or vice versa, depending on how many goals they've just scored. Such words, grunts and unintelligible sounds, used to link thoughts and ideas, were once the realm of first time speech givers but have become the norm as communication escalates via the new media outlets. It was not unheard of, for people to fear a speech more than death and sometimes listening to bad speeches was close to dying as "ums" outnumber real words.

The considered and practiced speech or presentation has long gone the way of the lectern, as cordless mikes give people room to roam and ruminate on their favourite subjects, while mangling the "King's English". As hard as it is to shut people up, on Youtube or countless web avenues, the distraction of "disfluencies", the "ums", only end up discrediting and highlighting the lack of preparation of a speakers.

Those little, one syllable words show volumes about the insecurities and concerns speakers have, as well as communicating they have not taken the audience seriously and practiced before stepping on stage. Even if speakers are experts in their field, the "ums"and "ahs" bring forth a mediocrity of knowledge and insecurities that will not endear you to your audience. Many speech experts (have they ever "ummed"?) see these speech hesitations as lack of self confidence and sincerity and consider them a virus ruining speech at all levels.

The challenges seem insurmountable to many but there is a sure save answer to all the concerns bought forward by the disfluencies and hesitation trapdoors, stop talking. For some this is the complete answer, but for those that have to get up on stage, bring forth your inner Al Pacino or Meryl Streep and use silence rather than the ubiquitous "ah" to bring your audience forward in their seats, while you gather your thoughts for the next intelligent insight that will have them clapping at the end.

The pregnant pause, long disparaged and little used, is seeing a revival of sorts but requires a strong backbone as most speakers don't operate well in a vacuum and it's easy to insert a quick "um" into a speech to cover the overwhelming and crushing silence. So next time, think about drawing a breathe before opening your mouth and setting forth on the good ship "listen to me". Brings new meaning to "grow a spine".

After all, like, ummm, ahhh, you know, how hard, is, ahhh, talking, right?

You're So Vain.

"I bet you think this song is about you" warbled Carly Simon in her get back song, to Warren Beatty after their short lived dalliance. Her take on their relationship centred on the one sided affair Beatty was having with himself, while escorting Simon, who ended up a mere handbag to his vanity. The vanity and narcissistic attitudes of Beatty, as one of Hollywood's pretty boys, was not an option for most people other than singing into a hair brush in front of the home mirror. Times have changed and the social media revolution has given the narcissist in us all, carte blanche to become self absorbed in our own legend.

We all know them, those people a little more inclined to look in the shop window as they walk by, flex a little too much at the gym and remain self absorbed even in catastrophic situations while still maintaining a perfect coiffure. How much fun are they having on Facebook,Twitter and the plethora of forums and activities designed to bring out, attractive, attention seeking, over confident, ego driven, high maintenance individuals, showing the world, it's all about them. Are we headed for a future where the self absorbed become the bench mark for individuality and success?

Facebook and the entertainment world aside, business has long endured those requiring our utmost attention and many of today's leaders fall into what is referred to as "business narcissism". Recent studies found people born between 1977 and 2000 more narcissistic than previous generations and that male business students the most narcissistic of all. In a study of over 500 US undergraduates, statistics revealed students motivated by money were more likely to be narcissistic than those motivated by wanting to contribute and help others. So it seems we can look forward to more leaders of industry self absorbed, needing attention and not interested in higher visions for making the planet a better place to live. Seems business schools have become a hotbed of reinforcement for narcissistic attitudes creating leaders with entitlement, exploitive and empathy issues.

Business narcissism can build up out of a leader’s thinking they are the exception to every rule and every challenge they encounter is exceptional and requires only their specific skills. Think about CEOs, defending their pay packets and share options, that have no place in the common man's thinking, with no other response than "I'm worth every cent". This is narcissism at the highest level and used to be difficult to focus on, as inappropriate behaviour, but where the web is seen as an enabler, it also has the power to spot light inappropriate narcissistic behaviour.

People taking themselves too seriously, especially in business circles, becoming too self absorbed and self centred and requiring the highest maintenance, whether via money or sycophantic attention are now at the mercy of the anonymous and the direct via the same avenues they seek attention through. The ability to take pot shots at the high and mighty and poke fun at those putting themselves on a pedestal provides balance in the tug of war between the preeners and the doers.

So while we may give a wry smile to people living large via Facebook we have the opportunity to bring attention to those in power and highlight the need for a balanced approach to business views, other than their own. By the way, does my bum look big in this suit?

Grunt Work.

Fortunately or unfortunately, I am as connected as can be, from smart phones to iPads to any technology nearby, I will connect and communicate whenever necessary and sometimes when it's not. This is the world today, not just the future, and there are few moments or locations when I am not in communication mode or within range of a WiFi zone. Having said that, there are times I enjoy leaving everything behind, especially while exercising, either on long runs with the iPod playing my favourite running tracks or at the gym trying to figure out the latest equipment that will have me looking ready for the Summer ahead.

This is not so for everyone and while I barely get through my weight sets without passing out from exertion, many people continue to text and call while throwing around heavy equipment, which always brings a wry smile to my face. My understanding of the need to stay connected battles with my requirement to concentrate on what I'm doing in the gym and I wait for the day a treadmill throws an unwary emailer off the tracks. I wonder how much energy is expended on the phones versus the technology equipment. Curling while texting at my local gym is common practice with people barely out of breath in case a call comes through.

The two camps of opinions are polarising the gym sector with some gyms siting safety issues and going so far as banning mobiles, but with almost everyone having music or apps such as Gym Buddy or Cruncho Meter on their phones it's hard to say no when a phone is strapped to an arm with earplugs. In the end gyms are not cinemas or libraries and grunts and groans from fitness buffs will continue to mix it with phone calls that couldn't wait another 30 minutes.

The other aspect of smart phones that is causing gym owners concern, is the "Funniest Home Video" syndrome as privacy and security come into play for people not in their comfort zone doing ridiculous things to stay in shape or worse, scantily dressed or undressed in the locker room. For most people, their gym look, is the least attractive and the last thing they want, is to find themselves on YouTube or Facebook going viral because their spandex didn't quite hold everything in place. YouTube is awash with inappropriate gym videos of unsuspecting barbell junkies in a zone of their own.

So the challenge for gyms and similar establishments, is deciding on appropriate mobile protocol to be used between the racks of weights and stair master machines that will enhance people's exercise regimes while not mandating against use that will drive customers to another gym.

The ubiquitous nature of the smart phone will continue to challenge establishments like gyms and in the future will no longer be absent from even the "shush" areas of libraries and cinemas. How do you say no, to life's communication enabler when we've all decided to start talking at once? Good luck with that.

School Dances.

My first girlfriend in primary school was cute with blonde hair and freckles. I was 11 years old and it took me a year to muster up the courage to ask her out, to the end of year dance. At the time I didn't really know why it too me so long but the angst and anxiety built up, confined me to hanging with the boys at the marble pit. Not that I knew what angst and anxiety was but something was stopping me from just marching up and asking her to the dance. The lack of control, of another person's feelings, created a hurdle I didn't jump till many years later.

I had not had any rejection at that early age, after all, I did my homework and cleaned the yard, so no, was not something I heard from my parents when asking for anything. Yet this innate fear was palpable and unexplainable when facing that decision and didn't go away for many dances to come.

I look around and that fear still exists for a lot of people, especially in sales. A no, a thanks anyway, not today and a thousand others are encountered daily and are over in a second, but the fear of rejection can last a lifetime. Everybody hates rejection but most don't do anything to climb that mountain or get that gorilla off their back. Often it's too easy, not to make that call, not to make the meeting or just not even try and answer the call. With hindsight and therapy it is often easier to come up with reasons rejection doesn't have the sting we all fear.

Most of the time, what you consider a rejection has nothing to do with you and the number one lesson, is not to take it personally. Could it be a rainy day, did the kids not behave, did the mother in law cause problems, is the economy not being kind to your client? So many variables you have no control over. The next time you meet that person they may have had a wonderful day and the result turns around. Often the stories you build up, never exist and you only build them, to explain the end result.

The majority of rejections are never real but we carry the scars of the few that did cut deep and manifest them onto every decision carrying any weight. Especially if the rejecter has some importance in your work life or you have a closer relationship, rejection can be more traumatic.

So you need to ask yourself serious questions and set parameters to gauge your breaking point. How many negative responses before you to start taking it personally? What management level causes you to tremble the most? Being involved is part of the sales process but does that extra engagement with your client make it more personal and does criticism or rejection hurt that much more?

In the end, things you have control of, your beliefs, your attitude, your emotions and your actions are the only things that will work in over coming rejections and letting you move forward. I know you are all wondering, so to get you out of your misery, she said yes to the dance.