Do you make a difference?

For life and in business, that question speaks to us on many different levels. There is ego involved along with a need to be recognised, a notion of self worth for the work you provide and a feeling of having been involved in something worthwhile. So a tough question to answer honestly and often only given credence by others when you leave a place of employment.

This past week I tested the above as I accepted an offer of employment with a new company and went through the “leaving process” from my old company. The decision day was tinged with excitement and expectations for a new beginning as I accepted the new job but also involved agonising over informing my old company I was leaving. Anxiety, excitement, disappointment and relief, all rolled into one day as I roller coasted from one end of the feelings spectrum to the other.

A lot of those feelings had to do with lose ends to be tied up satisfactorily, projects to be handed over and the day to day running of my position to be given to a suitable candidate. They also had to do with whoever following doing as good a job or better and the small part of you that hopes no one can do it better than you. That becomes the crux of why so many people, me included, ride that roller coaster of emotions on leaving jobs.

Was I any good? Did I make a difference? Will they remember me? It seems it’s harder than you think to keep ego in the box and remain level and grounded.

So I was surprised a couple of days later, as I waited for the communication to be sent to all the relevant parties of my departure and still wondering about all of the above, that I had a tough reality check thrown my way. I attended the funeral of a friend and an icon in the travel industry and it quickly became apparent at how selfish I was thinking only about my “stuff” as I looked at a family who had lost their rudder in life and still found a way to move on with grace.

It was a reality interlude that put into perspective a small decision making process that happens every day as people change jobs, change houses, change partners and move on with their lives. In the end it wasn’t about me, no matter what I thought but about everyone else and how they reacted to my departure and what they perceived as my worth to them over the past few years. It’s a benchmark of worth given to you by others that you have no control over but one you need to recognise and learn from.

I will be replaced by someone who will no doubt do an even better job than I ever did and my concerns will be unfounded. Like others in the same situation, I’ll have to get over myself and look forward because if I’m honest I learn from this and work to make a difference at the new company.

Still I wonder, did I make a difference?