22/12/12

Okay, I've emptied the bath, thrown out the half eaten tins of beans and spam and eventually I'll take the mattress money back to the bank. Seems I've survived another apocalypse, although there is something about a cliff coming up that could derail my good fortune. For those of us who hung off buying the Christmas presents, it's crunch time to hit the mall and fight the crowds, serves us right. All is right with the world and its time to count our blessings and look to the future, a future filled with more online retail, social becoming business as usual, big clouds of information and a second chance to make a difference. With the future in mind, I looked for a couple of personal favourite, post apocalyptic reasons to rejoice in 2013.

My first rejoice comes from the arena that has captivated everyone from eight to eighty, I'm talking about the food fascination era brought on by the celebrity and master chef phenomenon. With that in mind I give you Pizza Hut, who have decided to celebrate the future, by breaking through the final pizza barrier not believed possible by lovers of the thin crust sandwich, first encountered in the Italian town of Gaeta in 997 AD. For those of us enamoured with this dish of infinite toppings, Pizza Hut has taken the greatest minds in the culinary world, stuffed them into a cramped kitchen and come up with the "Pizza within a Pizza". For so long just a theory, a hypothetical, existing in the minds of starving University students, this break through has seen the long unanswered question of what's my favourite pizza topping? Of course my favourite pizza topping is another pizza, so easy and yet so genius. With pizza one of the four main food groups required for a balanced diet, I see a resurgence in the once flagging empire of "The Hut".

The second reason we should rejoice is reality will finally take a back seat to fiction. We will no longer see the disengaged, the loud and obnoxious, the over bearing, the egotistical and the just plain abominably abhorrent take up space on TV and the net. We will be rid of the stupidity of the lowest common denominator becoming the bench mark for behaviour, for shopping trends and attention. The Kardashians, along with the housewives of all the cities we never visit, people from the Jersey Shore and anyone who has survived on an island by eating grubs will finally be vanquished to the outer limits of reception on web channels for the criminally insane.

So I say, what's not to rejoice post apocalypse? After all, if we believe all the hype, we were nearly destroyed, nearly erased from the planet and yet here we are ready to finish the Christmas shopping, wondering if Aunt Maude will finally shave off her moustache for your New Year's kiss and generally oblivious to what might have been. Lighten up I say, we were nearly destroyed, how bad can it be? Seems the only blight on the future is the resigning of the 75th season of the Kardashians.

Seems we can't have it all but second chances should be fun, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all.