Comfy.

I’m comfortable on my lounge. I’m the same way on the floor in front of my TV. I’m even comfortable sitting at my work desk.

I’m not comfortable squeezed into a domestic low cost carrier economy seat. Call me precious. Call me soft and call me a snob. Just don’t subject my less than flexible limbs to the pretzel intricacies required for such flying.

Having recently flown (not of my own volition) on the carrier known for a colour that doesn’t rhythm with anything, I’m here to tell you a chiropractor should be costed into the ticket price. How you would extricate yourself in an emergency is beyond me. Even if I was prepared to pay for a technologically infused and heated pizette, I couldn’t physically fit it into my body. Monty Python jokes aside, I’d likely burst as I tried to squeeze the food into my mouth because there was no more room for anything. Big breathes were a challenge.

I see a bright future for specific size passenger jets.

Talljet. Thinjet. I’m on a diet from nextweekjet. The list goes on and any other ideas, Richard Branson, will have to pay me for. They all point to a niche market and isn’t that what the airlines are looking for?

The airlines need to start thinking about differentiating themselves via the above. United Airlines Thinjet will get you there in style in the ultra comfortable thin seats that guarantee you an armrest. What about the fittest of the fit flying on Fitness Firstjet ? Or a Weight Watchersjet? Or a footballersjet that could be hosed out after each flight. There could even be tripledeckerjets for vertically challenged passengers. Think about that height bar at Disneyland at the start of many rides. As long as you fit under this bar, you can fly on this plane. Three levels on the A380 is certainly not out of the question.

Specific information would need to be supplied and carried on your frequent flyer card. At the airport you would need to fit through a frame similar to what they have now for your carry on luggage to make sure you are boarding the right plane.

My only concern surrounds the management of a “my diet starts nextweekjet” being delayed and passengers having to join a Thinjet.