I am the travel agent.

At least I used to be. I am at a travel agent conference in New Zealand and the skills and pedigree required to stay relevant in this game never cease to amaze.

I HAVE DEGREES IN ACCOUNTING, PUBLIC RELATIONS, MARKETING, COMPUTER SCIENCE AND SWAHILI. I ALSO READ MINDS.

OF COURSE I STILL HAVE THAT TOUR BOOKING YOU PUT ON HOLD SIX YEARS AGO, EVEN THOUGH YOU NEVER CAME BACK TO ME.

ITS NOT A PROBLEM TO GIVE YOU 7 INTER-CONNECTING, NON - SMOKING, OCEAN VIEW SUITES WITH 2 KING SIZE BEDS IN EACH AND 4 ROLLAWAYS. YES I CAN INSTALL A MINI BAR AND I REALISE ITS MY FAULT THAT THE HOTEL DOESNT HAVE A HELIPAD.

I AM THE TRAVEL AGENT

ITS OBVIOUS THAT WHEN YOU BOOKED YOUR FLIGHT FOR FRIDAY YOU REALLY MEANT SATURDAY.
AND YES I AM LYING WHEN I SAY THE $100 FLIGHT FOR TOMORROW IS SOLD OUT, BUT ITS NOT A PROBLEM FOR ME TO QUICKLY BUILD ANOTHER 747. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN YOU WERE GOING TO RING.

I AM THE TRAVEL AGENT

I AM QUITE CAPABLE OF CHECKING ALL THE FLIGHTS IN HIGH SEASON TO SEE WHICH IS CHEAPEST, ANSWERING 12 PHONECALLS AND COMPILING 8 SETS OF DOCUMENTATION WHILE FINDING OUT FROM THE AIRLINE, WHY THEY WONT GIVE YOU A REFUND EVEN THOUGH YOU WENT TO THE WRONG AIRPORT.

OF COURSE I KNOW WHICH AIRLINE SERVES THE BEST VEGETARIAN MEALS, AND I CAN TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT TO SEE AND DO IN EVERY CITY IN 15 MINUTES WITHOUT SPENDING ANY MONEY.
I TAKE PERSONAL BLAME FOR ANY AIRLINE DELAYS, TRAFFIC JAMS, RENTAL CAR FLAT TYRES, BAD WEATHER, LOST LUGGAGE AND THE NATIONAL ECONOMY.

I REALISE YOU MEANT ME TO BOOK YOU AT THE HILTON, PEOPLE ALWAY CONFUSE IT WITH THE
MAJESTIC CORNBALL CABINS IN HICKSVILLE.

I AM THE TRAVEL AGENT

I SMILE. EMPATHISE, CONSOLE, UPSELL, PERFORM, SING, DANCE , INPUT AND FIX THE PRINTER.